We visit the home of Amy Fraser, founder of OKREAL, a curation of wisdom shared by aspirational women, guiding other women in determining what their version of fulfillment looks like and how to create it. Here we talk about fulfilment, rituals and overcoming self-doubt.
Can you tell us about your space, do you have a favourite area within it?
I love the light in my bedroom and how the doors open out onto a small verandah. I moved in just before summer last year and have spent many an afternoon sunbathing when I should have been working.
Can you tell us about some of your favourite objects in your home?
I love my plants even though I do a terrible job at keeping them alive. It is easier to keep a child alive than a plant. Otherwise, a set of antique crystal wine glasses, Benji’s guitar, a framed photo of an ultrasound where you can see the outline of Ra’s little body. The things that relate to an experience, happy memories, or the people who I love.
Do you have a morning ritual?
It’s less of a ritual and more of a chaotic scramble to get myself ready before my son wakes up by 6.30. I shower, throw my clothes on in the dark, then chug coffee while I heat his bottle and make his breakfast. My makeup bag is in the car and I fix my face on the drive to daycare. Weekends are a bit more relaxed, we play music and he runs around while we read to him. One day I will meditate and eat breakfast or something civil like that.
Who are some women who have inspired you?
My mum has been my biggest inspiration. When you run a business without a co-founder and don’t have someone telling you which direction to head in—you need to rely on the internal, not the external. You’re constantly drawing from your own gut instinct, your own sense of strength. My mother is the biggest contributor to that reservoir of self-worth and capability. Followed by my mum would be the community of women that I have experienced through OKREAL: it has been the biggest gift of building this business.
How do you like to spend your down time?
Time with family. Cooking, laughing, dancing and singing around the house with the music up.
Are you reading anything at the moment?
I read the first two chapters of Becoming by Michelle Obama a few months ago and am determined to finish the book before end of the year!
How do you practice self care?
By spending time with my family. Nothing is as fortifying. Except perhaps a child-free week in Corfu?
How do you like to spark creativity?
My creativity comes from discipline, from actually doing the work. I think if you wait around for inspiration or creativity to hit you, you’re going to be waiting a long time. Get stuck in. Let the doing lead you.
What about bed time rituals?
Bathe baby, read to baby, baby down, red wine, cooking together, eating together, more red wine..
What are some words you like to live by?
Currently? In the words of my motorbike obsessed son, ‘Brummm brummmmm’ and ‘mama’. Otherwise: You will be OK if you decide to be.
Overcoming self doubt?
I find the best antidote to self-doubt is action—small steps to get you out of that paralysis state when your self-doubt starts to take charge. I also think recognizing it for what it is and saying to that voice of fear: ‘I know you are just trying to protect me, but I’ve got this.”
Best advice you have received?
I love the advice given to me by dear friend Eva Goicochea: “Don’t let anyone or anything live rent-free in your head.” It refocuses me on what is worth my energy, and what is a waste of time.
What is fulfilment to you?
It’s knowing that I’m moving forward in the right direction—that even if I’m not where I want to be, that I’m on my way there. It’s knowing that my family are healthy and happy, that I’m grounded, in touch with what’s important, and have a really strong sense of self.
Tell us more about OKREAL, and what’s next?
We’re about to launch an online course on how to run your own mentor circles. After running mentor circles for years in NYC, our applications ran into the thousands and I wanted to give our community (and beyond!) the tools to create their own mentor program. It’s a 10 module course based on the exact methodology we use in our circles, and I’ll be offering one-on-one coaching and support. You can sign up here to get first dibs - My Mentor Circle.